She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
