did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
