i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
