Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
