Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
