..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
