Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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