What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
