so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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