So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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