CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
