I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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