...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he thought i was a dude.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
