fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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