I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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