so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
