I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
