dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
YAS. BRING CRAB.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
