We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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