If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize