You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
