We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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