she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
