I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
