This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
