no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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