Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
