Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
