Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
