Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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