I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
