I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
