you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
