margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
apparently the secret to your success is patron
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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