College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
