We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I touched a dick in church today
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
