I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
