Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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