You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
