Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so let's talk penis.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
