you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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