Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
