Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
