so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
