Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
