id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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