Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
