me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize