I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
