i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize