She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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