lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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