apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
