If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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