so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize
