its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
