i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
