Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
