so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
