we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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