drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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