You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So much Jack, so little girl.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
